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Is S-Ateen for You?


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IS S-ATEEN FOR YOU?

  1. Do you feel you are living in a home with secrets? Do you feel it is your responsibility to keep those secrets?
  2. Has someone shared adult information with you that made you feel uncomfortable?
  3. Have you felt hurt, embarrassed, or ashamed by someone’s sexual behavior?
  4. Do you feel no one would believe you if you shared what is going on in your home or other areas of your life?
  5. Do you hide or isolate? Are you afraid or embarrassed to bring friends home because of what is happening in the family?
  6. Are you concerned with someone’s improper use of the Internet, text messaging, or other media?
  7. Do you hesitate to speak to a family member or friend about problems you are experiencing because they seem to have their own problems, or you think they won’t understand?
  8. Do you find it difficult to recognize how you are feeling and how to express those feelings appropriately?
  9. Do you feel angry, lonely, fearful, and/or depressed?
  10. Do you feel you should be able to control other people’s behavior, or you should be able to do something to help them?
  11. Do you lie or make excuses to yourself about another person’s behavior? Do you sometimes lie to cover up your own mistakes?
  12. Have you felt confused about what is true and what is not true when talking with the sexaholic, or another person associated with the sexaholic?
  13. Has a family member or friend ever been in jail or other legal trouble because of his or her sexual behavior, or do you worry this could happen in the future?
  14. Do you have problems keeping up with schoolwork or other responsibilities due to problems at home?
  15. Do you stay in unhealthy friendships or dating relationships?
  16. Do you hide your feelings, or pretend you don’t care if you are sad, lonely, fearful, or angry?
  17. Do you ever try to escape from your feelings by using alcohol, food, drugs, social media, computer games, or other activities?
  18. Do you feel responsible for the safety or happiness of family members or friends?
  19. Are you always looking for someone’s approval or praise or feel the need to be perfect?
  20. When things are calm at home, do you anticipate or wait for problems to start again?
  21. Do you feel you have too much responsibility for someone your age?
  22. Do you tell yourself that what is going on with your family or friends isn’t that bad and is probably normal?
  23. Have you lost love and/or respect for one or both of your parents or other authority figures?
  24. Do you think if only your family members and friends acted differently, then you would be happy?
  25. Do you believe you are alone in your problems?

 

If you can answer ‘yes’ to some of these checklist questions, you may find help in S-Ateen.

 

S-ATEEN IS...

  • S-Ateen is a fellowship of young people who share their experience, strength, and hope with each other so that they may solve their common problems and help others to recover. The only requirement for membership is that there be a problem of sexaholism in a relative or friend. The term sexaholism covers a variety of behaviors that stem from someone’s powerlessness over lust. Sexaholism is an addiction, similar to alcoholism. Sexaholism is a family disease because it affects all the members of the family emotionally, spiritually, and sometimes physically. Growing up with sexaholism, you may experience feelings of shame, guilt, fear, and anger. Many of us don’t know what to expect on a day-to-day basis when we are around people who have the disease of sexaholism. In S-Ateen we find hope and help, and we are no longer facing our problems alone.
  • S-Ateen is for you and about you. S-Ateen is not a program to help you fix your parents, siblings, or friends. S-Ateen is for young people, ages twelve to nineteen, who have been affected by someone’s inappropriate sexual behavior. This may involve inappropriate activity on the Internet, or inappropriate relationships with other people. S-Ateen will help you understand the family disease of sexaholism and help you find healthy ways to cope with your problems.
  • S-Ateen is a program where you can learn about healthy relationships. Even if you think you are not affected by the problems in your home, many of the choices you make in friendships and dating relationships are influenced by living within a family that is spiritually and emotionally ill. Perhaps you have been affected by someone’s sexual behavior outside of your home. The sexaholic in your life may be a family member, classmate, friend, teacher, coach, pastor, or other authority figure.
  • S-Ateen meetings are led by S-Ateen members. There are two adult S-Anon members in each S-Ateen meeting. These adults are there as S-Ateen group sponsors. The S-Ateen group sponsors serve as guides for the meetings; but not as therapists or parent substitutes. If the meeting is new, the S-Ateen group sponsors may lead the first few meetings, but after that the teens lead the meetings themselves. The group sponsors do not give advice or tell S-Ateen members what to do. They share on the meeting topic from their own point of view and from their experiences when they were teenagers.
  • S-Ateen uses the S-Ateen Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, adapted from Alcoholics Anonymous, which are suggested for our recovery. Working the S-Ateen program is not easy, but it has rich rewards. You can find serenity and even happiness, whether or not the sexaholic or other family members are in recovery.
  • S-Ateen is an anonymous program. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of our program. This means we keep in confidence everything that is said in meetings as well as who we see at meetings. Anonymity also means we are all equals in S-Ateen; no one is a boss or an expert. This principle of anonymity helps everyone feel safe in the meetings. S-Ateen members may also seek out the assistance of professional helpers like therapists, clergy, or doctors to help deal with crisis situations or to focus in depth on personal issues.

S-ATEEN IS NOT...

  • S-Ateen meetings are not a place to complain, gossip, criticize, or stay stuck in our problems. Each S-Ateen member is given time to share in the meetings. You will have the support of other S-Ateen members, as you learn to focus on the solution, rather than the problem. S-Ateen is not a program for young people seeking recovery from sexaholism themselves.
  • S-Ateen is not a religious program. S-Ateen does not discuss or support any particular religion, so we refrain from making  references to specific faiths. S-Ateen is a spiritual program which follows spiritual principles to help us recover, whether or not we practice a religion. You may hear the term Higher Power or God used, to refer to a power greater than ourselves.
  • S-Ateen groups are not counseling or therapy groups. We do not give advice. The S-Ateen group sponsors at meetings are not professional counselors. They are S-Anon members working their own recovery program, who offer guidance and support, as the S-Ateen members learn to support each other.

HOW WILL S-ATEEN HELP YOU?

In S-Ateen, you will no longer feel alone in your problems. You will discover you have choices. When you hear how other young people have worked through situations by using the S-Ateen program, you can find hope for your own situations. Even though  your story may be different from other S-Ateen members, the feelings are the same. You will have the opportunity to develop healthy friendships with other teens in the meetings. You will learn about the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, which you can apply to all relationships and situations in your life. You will learn how to make good choices for yourself and to set healthy boundaries. You will learn what it means to “focus on yourself” rather than on family members or friends.

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